thoughts

01. How can you not see how much I like you?

02. While I spend the whole class wondering whether I should talk to you, do you ever think about me at all😂?

03. Did you ever miss me, even a little, because I do every day?

04. On Thursday, I thought I would talk to you somehow again, but when I saw you in LPC with that guy, talking, laughing, and sharing food, I was hurt. I am hurt. It feels like something is eating my heart from inside. Why, Emily, why?

05. I am trying to hate you after seeing you with that guy, but I am not able to do it, because I am in love with you. I didn't choose it; it just happened. My soul chose it for me. The air around me changes when I am around you, like I am on top of the world. I do still love you, knowing the fact that we can't be together, but who cares? I do love you, period, end of story, and I don't want you to love me back, just be happy.

06. Today, I really didn't want to come to class because it hurts knowing that we don't talk anymore while everything around us continues as if nothing ever happened. But you know, Emily, I still come because I know that after this quarter, I may never see you again. All I have is these ten weeks. Twenty class days. About fifty hours. And somehow, an entire lifetime doesn't feel long enough to see someone fully, yet now fifty hours is all I have. So I don't want to waste them. That's why I come to class, even when it hurts. Just so I can see you, even from a distance. I just wanted you to know that, somehow, these fifty hours may become one of my favorite little parts of life

07. I know, Emily, this might sound a little cheesy, but I'm always wanting to see you, talk to you, spend time with you, and just have fun with you. Sometimes I think about it so much that I feel like I'm going a little crazy. Like, how can one person take up this much space in my mind?

08. You know, Emily, I don't blame you. Maybe I'm the stupid one who fell for you knowing you're a 10 and I'm probably a 6 😂. But honestly, who cares? The truth is, I love you. And at this point, I don't even care whether you ever like me or love me back, because apparently I love you enough for both of us 😂. And you know something else? You probably deserve someone better than me. I hate saying that, by the way. your happiness matter more to me than the idea of us being together.

09. I say I love you, and I truly do. But maybe I don't yet know how to love you in the way you want to be loved. If that's the case, would you teach me? Teach me when holding your hand would make you feel safe or happy, even though part of me would probably want to hold it all the time. Teach me when you need me to talk and when you need silence. Teach me how to notice the struggles hiding behind your smile, how to comfort you when you're sad, and how to understand you even when you don't feel like saying anything. Because I don't want to love you only in the way that feels natural to me. I want to understand the way your heart actually feels loved.

10. People might think, "Oh, you're a loser, loving a girl who doesn't love you back." Maybe you think the same thing too. But hey, Emily, who cares? 😂 How do I even explain this feeling? It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. I feel happy, sad, excited, nervous, and a hundred other emotions, sometimes all at once. And somehow, even with so much happening inside my heart, I have no one I can truly explain it to. And honestly, maybe I don't even need to explain it. Some feelings are too beautiful to put into words. I just feel them, and I am glad I got to feel something like this for you.

11. Emily, why don't you text me now? Call me, or just send me a little message saying, "Hey, I really wanna meet you." Oh my God, how am I supposed to handle that? 😂 You know, I should probably stay calm and act normal. But I'm already going crazy just imagining it. What would happen to me if you actually sent that message? My heart would probably forget how to beat normally, my brain would stop working, and I'd spend the next ten minutes staring at my phone, wondering if I was dreaming. And after all that, I'd probably reply with a very casual "hey" as if I hadn't just experienced every emotion known to humanity. 😂

12. Thursday(09/24/2026), I love the little way you nod your head when the professor asks, “Did you get it?” It’s such a small thing, Emily, but somehow, even that makes me smile.

13. Thursday(09/24/2026), Emily is like the open sky, endlessly beautiful, almost like an angel walking on Earth.It is hard to resist looking at her.She is like a book of poetry, soft and delicate, as though even the smallest things could bring tears to her eyes. Yet I imagine there is a storm inside her too, one that rises when she is angry. She doesn’t need any fragrance. She is the fragrance, spreading freshness through my life like a garden full of red roses. Today, sitting behind her in class, I kept finding myself looking at her, forgetting for a moment that there was a whole world beyond that classroom. Because when I look at Emily, it feels as though my entire world is sitting right there in front of me. And perhaps, somewhere along the way, she has become my world.

14. Friday(09/25/2026) 6:41 AM, I was coding all night, and I’ve only just stepped away from my desk. But I have to admit one thing: even while I was working, you were somewhere in my mind the entire time.Now I’m finally going to sleep, and somehow, after everything, the one thing I find myself wanting most is you. I want to see you, talk to you, eat with you, be with you, study with you, even every tiny things i wanted to do with you" I miss you, Emily.

15. Monday(09/28/2026) 1:14 pm, I just get out my class with my professor talking about the presentation I have to give for my research assitant position, and I saw Emily, she was standing there infront of her classroom, I saw her but I did like I did not see her but I saw her, you know what I did came on second floor 3 time without any reason so that I can just see her and now I in the cdm, 2:30pm, library because I know she will come here at 3:00 pm after her class end, so I am sitting here so that I can see her again, omg I am always excited to see her.

16. Tuesday(09/29/2026) 6:44 am, Last night I slept early because I head a headache, and I just wake up Emily, the first thing came in my mind id you and still I am in my bed, took my labtop and writing this, You know Emily I am really excited about today because I know I am sit just behind you and see you like, you know how innocently child see his or her mother, with the same innocence I see you in class. I am happy about this but also sad that I can't talk to you, but hey Emily today I am gonna talk to you no matter what, now this part is making me nervous, anyway Love you. also I have some reels saved, let me upload and then get ready for the day.

17. Tuesday(09/29/2026) 7:01 pm, today when I reached to class, there was a sit available next to her, for a moment I thought I should sit next to her but I was afraid to sit next to her, after the class I thought I will talk to her but like always she vanished, I knew she went to brown line, I also went there and saw her, I thought I will talk to her now but again got scared, I don't how she will react. on thursday I am gonna sit next to her and talk to her no matter what. If I will not talk to her, this will not resolve and it gonna cost my life.

18. Wednesday(09/30/2026) 2:56 pm, I knew her classes will done today at 3:00 pm so I was waiting downstair in the lab so that when she come I can she her as usual, she came and I saw her, it feels warm when I see her, I was her in the morning also while I was coming out of class while I was passing by her, Everytime I see her I feel so good, I say good because there is no exact word in the entire human language to describe that feeling that I feel when I see her. anyway just waiting downstair 1.5hr to see her is total worth. Love you Emily wish I could say this in your face someday, well you know this but.

19. Wednesday(09/30/2026) 6:57 pm, you know emily this is very funny, I am in class but still thinking you , it's like I am not able to focus in class, so I thought why not to uplaod some reel that i saved for you and i just did and writing my thought here for you, I don't know how to come to you and talk after all those things, but hey just wanted to let you know i am missing you right now very badly😍😂.

20. Thursday(10/01/2026) 6:38 am, good morning Emily, I just wake up, and you are the first thing on my mind, after this I am going to run and swim in lake, althouh I hate cold water but since you like cold I feel like that cold water is hugging me🤗, I will try to sit next to you today in class and also try to talk to you, why am i scared doing this, I am gonna talk to you today if not then I will go home i guess and never comeback.

21. Thursday(10/01/2026) 1:57 pm, what a bad day, I was hopping she will be in class but she never came today, complete waste of my day, neither i can focus on studies nor she is here, this is bad, why she is not here in class today, is she sick, omg what if she is sick, i did check the classlist in d2l she is online which mean she is not in problem, so she might be just sick, and i can't do anything, i can just pary, HEY RADHARANI, if she is sick please make her feel good.

22. Friday(10/02/2026) 6:42 am, I just wake up Emily, good morning, i wish i could see you right now, omg my wishess, anyway i am going for run by the lakeshore, i want to do with you, may be someday, alove you emily, i was thinking last night since you are a christian what if i go in church and ask with your god jesus to give you to me, becasue he will know how much i love you, care for you. I will do it.

23. Saturday(10/03/2026) 6:18 am,Good morning Emily, i just wake up, i am going to swim in the lake, i might get cold but it's fine, i just wish you text me today and we meet someday soon again, i don't feel like getup, i wish i could see you by my side waking up, Emily I love you and when i say i love you, i have to live by that statement which i am trying my best to live and continue to live by this for my entire life even if we don't talk to each other, even i don't see you, you are art for me which i can keep praising for my entire life Emily.

24. Sunday(10/04/2026) 6:39 am,Emily Emily Emily Emily Emily good morning, you still sleeping ha, i know this, i can imaggie that fuzzy hair on your face while sleeping, you would be looking cutest version of yourself😂😍, someday may be i can see, i don't know what do now so i am writing this for you, i love to write about you like you are mine which you are not but what if, anyway love you emily, i am going back to sleep now, call me.